German fencer talks about bulimia and calls for change

Three years after bulimia took over her life, Léa Krüger is enjoying fencing again.

"Fencing sparked a passion and a burning desire that I didn't know from any other area of my life," the 29-year-old said. But it is precisely this fascination that pushed Krüger to the edge of her physically and mentally capabilities in 2022.

Compulsive striving for perfection

For a 12-year-old who wanted to be a knight, Krüger's sporting career took off early and she quickly became part of Germany women's sabre team, competing in world and European championships. Krüger found stability in the fixed structures that competitive sport often offers. Training plans, her law degree, recovery times and nutrition plans all determined Krüger's everyday life.

"Everything was very precisely timed and I stuck to it very closely. I wanted to perfect my performance in all areas," Krüger said.

Lea Krüger has quickly become a central figure in Germany's fencing teamImage: Kohring/ Eibner-Pressefoto/picture alliance

Over time, this striving for perfection developed into a compulsion and a feeling of no longer being good enough developed.

"In fencing, in one-on-one combat, where every hit decides whether you win or lose, I developed such strong feelings that I could no longer cope with them," Krüger said, adding: "To get rid of these feelings, I started throwing up."

Krüger: 'At least I was still thin'

Krüger admits that her bulimia probably started in 2022 at the European Championships in Antalya. Losing battles increased her feeling of not being good enough and made her fear of failure grow. "After the competition, I went to the toilet to get it all out."

For Krüger, throwing up became "normality" and an outlet - not only in competitions, but also in training and everyday life. After all, it's something she can control herself. It was also - in her eyes - a good thing, because the negative feelings were no longer there afterwards.

"It also gave me the feeling that I was at least still thin even if I couldn't manage everything else," said Krüger, whose performances began to dip as a result of her illness.

Only after she got help from outside did Krüger become aware that she couldn't overcome her illness aloneImage: Kohring/Eibner-Pressefoto/picture alliance

A conversation opens Krüger's eyes

It was only a conversation with her best friend Calvin that opened her eyes and made her realize that what seemed "normal and controllable" was actually not normal. She started therapy in 2023 and after the first session, the therapist diagnosed her with bulimia.

"That was the first time I realized that I was somehow ill," Krüger said. "How many times have I had a muscle injury? That was always a diagnosis too," she continued. "But mental illnesses are not muscle injuries." 

With the support of the therapist, Krüger was able to accept that she had an eating disorder almost a year later.

Krüger: 'There was a sense of excessive demands'

She talked to her coach and her teammates and while the reactions were positive, Krüger recalled that her coach also felt overwhelmed in dealing with the issue. Her coach's desire to protect her combined with poor form saw her drop out of the team, but Krüger continued to train and tried to fight her way back.

"I needed the structures and didn't want to just run away from the eating disorder," Krüger explained.

In 2024, Krüger completed a remarkable turnaround when she rejoined the team and competed at a World Cup in Belgium. Injury in her first bout forced her to take a longer break, but it was in this time she decided to make her illness public. At the start of 2025, as part of a local campaign, Krüger told her story.

"We have to make sure that talking about mental health is no longer taboo among coaches, but also among us athletes," said Krüger, calling for a significant chance to the perception and handling of mental illness in competitive sport.

Krüger calls for an open approach

Scientific studies show that between 10-20% of all competitive athletes suffer from an eating disorder, but Krüger believes very few dare to talk about it. The fear of losing a place in the squad is too great.

"It's not a torn muscle fiber that heals in six weeks, but in the worst case it's a mental illness. And it's uncertain when such an illness will be cured," said the 29-year-old. "We have to get athletes to be able to talk openly about it and find the courage to express it."

Lea Krüger is a voice for other athletes as part of Germany's athletes unionImage: Malte Ossowski/SvenSimon/picture alliance

Krüger is calling for the already existing structures in sport to be professionalized, and for an independent point of contact for athletes and coaches if they need help. She would also like to see the network of therapists expanded.

After the Olympics in Paris, Krüger and some her friends organized a meeting under the working title "Safe Space", where athletes could talk openly about their problems.

"Talking about my mental illness is not something I particularly enjoy doing," Krüger admits. "But I want us to talk about it openly, so I have to do it. I want something to change."

This article was translated from the German original.

Editor's note: If you are suffering from an eating disorder or mental health issues connected to eating disorders, do not hesitate to seek professional help. You can find information on where to find such help, no matter where you live in the world, at this website: https://www.befrienders.org/