In pardoning his own son, Biden argues that US justice sucks

One of the big bonuses of being US president is that you can pardon any federal crimes you want on the way out the door. It’s a chance to help out family, friends, donors, or curry favor with potential future business associates in your post-White House career.

US President Joe Biden just handed one out to his own son, Hunter Biden, who was facing up to 25 years prison in a firearms case and 17 years for a tax case.

That length of sentence would make it seem that Hunter was accused of waving a gun around or firing it off in the vicinity of someone, but that’s hardly even the case. Instead, he was convicted of lying on his paperwork when applying for one. One of the questions asks whether you’ve smoked pot or done any other drugs “unlawfully.” No way, Hunter said. But unfortunately for him, a quick Google image search reveals spades of images of him with a crack pipe hanging from his mouth. Whoops.

In the tax case, he was convicted of three felony offenses and six misdemeanor offenses, according to his dad’s Justice Department statement, having “spent millions of dollars on an extravagant lifestyle rather than paying his tax bills.” And when he was finally made to pay up, having blanked out on paying for four tax years, he indulged in some creative accounting in inventing some business deductions.

Enter Joe in the role of the parent who shows up at the school principal’s office to explain why his kid is such a screwup and can’t get his homework done on time for the tax man.

“Those who were late paying their taxes because of serious addictions, but paid them back subsequently with interest and penalties, are typically given non-criminal resolutions. It is clear that Hunter was treated differently,” Biden wrote in a statement. Sounds like Hunter’s serious addiction in this case was not paying taxes, just like every other American facing similar charges. Everyone’s addicted to something. Maybe some other Americans were too busy double-fisting Ding Dongs or Twinkies to cater to the tax man? Or working on their gains at the gym? Or on a Netflix bender? Where’s their pardon? I’m sure Americans will be thrilled to learn that the president figures that indulging in some nose candy constitutes a free pass from any serious consequences of messing up your taxes – or just ignoring their existence altogether. Tax man knocking at the door? Just answer while smoking a giant blunt and tell him to bugger off.

What about the gun stuff, though? Joe has an answer for that, too. “Without aggravating factors like use in a crime, multiple purchases, or buying a weapon as a straw purchaser, people are almost never brought to trial on felony charges solely for how they filled out a gun form,” he wrote. Yeah okay, and most drivers who speed aren’t hauled up on speeding charges. Not because they aren’t doing it, but because there isn’t a cop sitting in the back of each one of their cars waiting for them to go over the limit and give them a ticket.

Biden is literally saying that Hunter has been “treated differently” simply because he’s Biden’s son. Is he seriously blowing the whistle on his own Justice Department, and American justice, in general, with accusations of political prosecutions? Sure sounds like it. Too bad that, as president, he wasn’t actually in any position to actually do anything about it, huh?

How about the tax man targeting Donald Trump’s returns? Is that not political, too, Joe? What about all the other felony charges that seemed designed to derail his return to the presidency?

“For the first time in American history a former president that is a convicted felon is now seeking the office of the presidency,” Biden said earlier his year. “But as disturbing as that is, more damaging is the all-out assault Donald Trump is making on the American system of justice.” Are we talking about the same system of justice that sucks so much that you had to correct its errors so your kid could avoid becoming someone’s Alcatraz amigo?

“It says a lot about the United States that we work relentlessly to free Americans who are unjustly held around the world,” Biden said amid a prisoner swap with Russia this summer. How much work has Biden done – beyond his own kid’s case – to ensure that people who mess up on government paperwork in the US aren’t facing prison terms that rival those of genocide perpetrators?

“The charges in his cases came about only after several of my political opponents in Congress instigated them to attack me and oppose my election,” Biden said. Sounds like a real problem. Too bad that time’s up for you to actually do anything about this kind of systemic selective prosecutorial bullying, beyond serving your own family’s interests.