McGee's Mascot Power Rankings: The best of the fun and furry in college football

You astir apt missed it. Either due to the fact that you were excessively distracted by the ongoing goings-on of league media days, oregon possibly due to the fact that you miss a batch of worldly due to the fact that your peripheral imaginativeness is perpetually hindered by tiny papier-mâché oculus slots oregon swatches of flappy faux fur. But past week, the assemblage mascots of America gathered successful Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to dance. And dance. And dance. No substance however large oregon felt-covered their feet mightiness be.

As we watched the collegiate creatures chopped a rug (not to notation their insignificant league shot counterparts triumph the post-Coldplay interwebs), it got america thinking. No, not NIL/revenue sharing/eyes-glazed-over thinking. Fun thinking. Well, amusive until we marque 1 of them huffy and they travel for america successful the nighttime with those googly eyes.

Who is the top assemblage shot mascot successful each the land?

It's a analyzable question. So, taking a leafage from the expanded CFP playbook and trying to marque it fair, we made it adjacent much convoluted. In a mascot multiverse made up of truthful galore mixed-up monsters, mammals and miscellany, we decided to interruption up the treatment into 5 categories.

If you'd similar to crook this into a bracket and benignant retired the champ, spell for it. We're going to instrumentality with the divisions. Because we don't privation to aftermath up 1 greeting to find that Cal Poly's Musty the Mustang has near 1 of his equine heads successful our bed.

Costume Division

5. Keggy the Keg, Dartmouth

For decades, Dartmouth, which dropped the awesome and nickname "Indians" from its sports teams successful the aboriginal 1970s, had nary mascot to spell with its caller moniker "The Big Green." But successful 2003, an on-campus wit mag debuted an anthropomorphic brew keg and named it Keggy the Keg. And yes, that is the astir Ivy League condemnation I person ever written.

To nary one's surprise, the still-new net made Keggy famous. Also to nary one's surprise, Dartmouth administrators didn't similar that. Despite the foamy absorption and its ongoing presumption arsenic an unofficial mascot, determination aren't galore events wherever Keggy isn't serving up acold and refreshing enactment for the Big Green.

4. The Stanford Tree

Different coast, akin story. Stanford besides ditched the "Indians" sanction and mascot successful the aboriginal '70s, and portion the sanction "Cardinal" was adopted, the ever quirky Stanford set pitched a bid of mascots during halftime shows that members believed represented beingness connected the field known arsenic The Farm. The Steaming Manhole, French Fry, Robber Barons, Spikes and Huns each failed to person authoritative status. But successful 1975, a janky homemade histrion started dancing astir and has been gyrating successful Palo Alto ever since.

The caller mascot is chosen each twelvemonth during "Tree Week" with the candidates auditioning successful their ain self-constructed costumes. The Tree besides has ne'er received authoritative status, since the squad is the Cardinal, and if you are looking for an existent cardinal, it tin beryllium recovered successful an existent tree.

3. Big Red, Western Kentucky

Unlike Keggy and the Tree, Big Red isn't homemade, helium conscionable looks similar helium is. Western Kentucky is location of the Hilltoppers, and successful 1979 a pupil was charged with producing a mascot that embodied the Hilltopper spirit. Ralph Carey sketched retired a reddish blob and built it with $300 worthy of worldly helium bought astatine a hardware and trade store.

The effect is simply a carnal that is nothing, but besides everything. I'm not saying WKU's Big Red eyeball helmets of 2024 were the top lids successful assemblage shot history. But I'm besides not saying they weren't.

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2. Brutus, Ohio State

As hard arsenic it is to believe, earlier 1965 determination was nary mascot successful Columbus. After flirting with the thought of bringing a unrecorded subordinate onto the sidelines of the Horseshoe, a pupil ballot settled connected Buckeyes, honoring the authoritative authorities histrion of Ohio, and the sanction Brutus.

Over the years, Brutus mostly has been considered the template for the "person successful apparel but with a immense integrative head" exemplary for modern mascot business. Thankfully, Brutus has experienced immoderate utmost cranial makeovers -- and shrinkage -- done the ages. The O.G. O-H-I-O Buckeye looked much similar a cocoa bonbon bowing shot than a fearsome shot foe.

1. The Duck, Oregon

We committedness we're not conscionable doing this due to the fact that Walt Disney helped Oregon devise its mascot (and ESPN is simply a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Co.). We're doing it due to the fact that arsenic overmuch arsenic Brutus showed the sideline way, the Duck has written the publication connected however to beryllium a feathered person to one's instrumentality basal successful the modern era, from holding signs implicit Lee Corso's enarthrosis connected "College Game Day" to the stadium entranceway GIF that each quality with a smartphone has either seen oregon used.

The Duck would person an aviary statement to beryllium successful this spot simply based connected his astonishment photograph weaponry circuit of the stadiums of the Big Ten anterior to Oregon joining the league 1 twelvemonth ago. Just this week the Duck has ducked down to Australia and, of course, taken each photos successful Southern Hemisphere form.

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Mechanized Division

5. Cocky successful the Cockaboose, South Carolina

Cocky is 1 of America's astir underrated costume mascots, with a Big Red-like bouncy assemblage and the biggest feet this broadside of Shaquille O'Neal. Prior to each crippled astatine Williams-Brice Stadium, amid the stirring sounds of "2001: A Space Odyssey," Cocky rides onto the tract successful a bid pulling a reddish caboose, a motion to the folks successful the "Cockaboose" luxury boxes partying extracurricular the stadium, and escorting Gamecocks celebs, from Marcus Lattimore to Darius Rucker.

4. Monte connected a Harley, Montana

Monte, which is abbreviated for Montana (duh), is simply a grizzly (duh) who has been known to participate Washington-Grizzly Stadium atop and astride much high-powered machinery than tin beryllium recovered successful Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s garage. His astir celebrated entrances person been connected a custom-made Harley-Davidson, but helium has besides had his paws astir the throttle of ATVs, the tailgate of a pickup motortruck and the reins of a horse, agelong brownish mane bouncing successful the upwind similar Chewbacca down the instrumentality of the Millennium Falcon.

3. Demon Deacon connected a chopper, Wake Forest

Every autumn Saturday, the ceramic walls astir Winston-Salem are rattled by the achromatic and golden hog wheeled by the Demon Deacon. It's a custom-built instrumentality that could person travel from the Johnny Cash opus "One Piece astatine a Time" with what looks similar an amalgamation of a Kawasaki Vulcan 800, Captain America's rig from "Easy Rider" and immoderate was near implicit from 1 of Evel Knievel's crashes successful the 1970s.

2. Buzz successful the Ramblin' Wreck, Georgia Tech

Keeping it successful the ACC, Georgia Tech sticks to the Deep South contented of having aggregate mascots inspired by songs, stories and worldly that radical forgot the details astir agelong ago. Buzz is simply a yellowish jacket, a sanction attached to Tech since students started attending games successful the 1890s wearing, yes, yellowish jackets. Around that aforesaid time, the "Ramblin' Wreck" was conjured arsenic a motion to the school's legendary engineering programme and makeshift vehicles pieced unneurotic by students during overseas projects. The existent thrust is simply a 1930 Ford Model A Sport coupe that has led the squad connected the tract since 1961. Buzz has been hitching rides connected the backmost since 1972.

1. Sooner Schooner, Oklahoma

Since 1964, a somewhat shrunken Studebaker Conestoga wagon pulled by a brace of ponies named Boomer and Sooner has hammered its mode onto the tract earlier Oklahoma shot games, a la the Oklahoma Territory Land Run of 1889. It is steered by the peerless RUF/NEKS, the school's rootin'-tootin' tone squad. When it works, it's awesome. When it doesn't, it's beauteous scary ... but inactive beauteous awesome.

Human Division

5. Vili the Warrior, Hawai'i

A staple of Hawai'i location games for years, Vili the Warrior (aka Vili Fehoko) was truthful astonishing that helium makes this database adjacent though helium hasn't been connected the Warriors sideline since 2011. His drumming and starring of accepted islander chants astatine a section Polynesian acquisition halfway earned him an invitation onto the tract from the coaching unit of June Jones. There, helium taught an full stadium done his performances of the haka, a warfare chant that encapsulated Hawai'i's feelings of autochthonal pridefulness and captured the attraction of America erstwhile the squad earned a BCS-crashing invitation to the 2008 Sugar Bowl and Vili performed earlier the game.

Today, Fehoko has crowds chanting astir the NFL, wherever his lad Breiden plays chemoreceptor tackle, astir precocious for the Steelers. With a caller Hawai'i stadium slated to travel online by 2028, possibly let's get Vili to manager up a caller procreation of Vili Warriors?

4. Chief Osceola, Florida State

Few pregame moments are arsenic melodramatic arsenic erstwhile this Florida State pupil rides retired onto the tract connected Renegade the equine and spikes an existent flaming spear into the 50-yard enactment astatine Doak Campbell Stadium, particularly if helium rides excessively adjacent to an unknowing sportswriter who has wandered successful his mode similar an idiot ... not that I ever did that. Though immoderate members of the Seminole people person expressed concerns astir the portrayal, people enactment has agelong officially endorsed the tribute to their legendary person and the assemblage is speedy to authorities that the Seminoles "are not our mascots, they are our partners."

3. Masked Rider, Texas Tech

Dressed successful achromatic with a scarlet cape, this black-masked gaucho gallops into Lubbock atop a trusty achromatic steed, the archetypal assemblage mascot to thrust horseback, predating Chief Osceola and USC's Traveler. What started arsenic a prank -- a pupil with a borrowed equine and a cape made successful the location economics section abruptly riding crossed the tract during a crippled -- has go the Zorro of assemblage sports.

2. The Mountaineer, West Virginia, and Davy Crockett, Tennessee

I tin already spot my mentions from by-god WVU and my chap Tennessee alums for the sharing of this spot, but 2 rowdy upland men successful coonskin caps who wield custom-built mountaineer rifles? I'll instrumentality my chances with those dudes walking into immoderate tense situation, particularly a shot Saturday.

Back successful the day, those rifles worked. Still 1 of the funniest things I've ever seen was astatine Boston College successful the aboriginal days of the Big East shot conference. Whenever West Virginia scored -- and that day, it was a batch -- that Mountaineer would blast his pulverization musket and those mediocre startled radical of Chestnut Hill were convinced the Redcoats were backmost successful town.

1. The Notre Dame Leprechaun

For years, Notre Dame's lone mascot was an Irish terrier. But successful 1964, an creator was commissioned to travel up with a leprechaun plan that archetypal landed connected the screen of Time mag and past recovered its mode onto the South Bend sideline.

In the beginning, candidates were expected to beryllium abbreviated and redheaded, and they had to turn a chinstrap beard, but successful the years since, determination person been pistillate and African American leprechauns. As agelong arsenic they tin past the outpouring tryout gauntlet of Notre Dame trivia, 50 pushups and their champion Irish jig, they person a accidental to stock a tract with Marcus Freeman and Rudy.

Live Animal Division

5. War Eagle, Auburn

There are much existent birds to take from than astir mightiness realize, from the Falconry of Air Force to Sir Big Spur, a Gamecock truthful beloved that it triggered a feud successful South Carolina. But anyone who has ever been successful the beingness of the War Eagle knows that size does matter, whether the eagle is swooping its mode astir Jordan-Hare Stadium during pregame festivities oregon is perched connected the limb of 1 of its keepers from Auburn University's Raptor Center, which rescues and heals birds of each types. When either Aurea oregon Independence opens its wings, you recognize wherefore wood animals larn however to hide. It's scary.

4. Mike the Tiger, LSU

Speaking of size, Mike VII of Baton Rouge weighs successful astatine 420 pounds. The size of his caput unsocial is intimidating. His situation is besides massive, a 15,000-foot custom-built enclosure that's crossed the thoroughfare from Death Valley and operated by the school's veterinary school. He has specified a adjacent narration with the students assigned to instrumentality attraction of him that helium knows the dependable of their cars erstwhile they arrive.

3. Bevo, Texas

Meanwhile, Bevo, the longhorn who made his archetypal quality connected a Longhorns sideline successful 1916, has his ain conception of a ranch, located astir 45 minutes distant from Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium. He weighs much than 1,700 pounds and has horns that span 58 inches. There is an full relation dedicated to his care, an full assistance successful his sanction and an full streak of acold humor inactive successful the veins of anyone who was astatine the 2019 Sugar Bowl erstwhile helium charged astatine different unrecorded mascot. That's called crippled face.

2. Ralphie, Colorado

Speaking of charging, Ralphie, the furry look of Colorado football, doesn't measurement rather arsenic overmuch arsenic Bevo, tipping the scales astatine astir 1,200 pounds. But portion Bevo mostly stands there, successful Boulder, she -- yes, she -- carries that load onto the tract astatine 25 mph, steered (hopefully) by 4 handlers.

My father, a erstwhile assemblage shot official, tells a communicative astir the logistics gathering held the nighttime earlier the 1990 Orange Bowl, a crippled betwixt Colorado and Notre Dame with dense nationalist rubric implications. Everyone successful the country was perfectly wide connected each item of the nighttime but one. As the gathering wrapped up, Fighting Irish caput manager Lou Holtz stood and shouted, "Wait! How the hellhole does this enactment with the buffalo?!" Everyone laughed. Then they realized Holtz was serious.

1. Uga, Georgia

Despite Bevo's champion efforts, the pampered bulldog who lives "between the hedges" is inactive the person of assemblage football's carnal kingdom. The Seiler household of Savannah is keeper of the nonstop Uga bloodline that runs backmost to the 1950s, bringing His Royal Mugness up to Athens connected crippled weekends, wherever helium has the statesmanlike suite successful the on-campus edifice (Rece Davis was erstwhile booted from that country to accommodate the dog, for real) and a customized SUV traveling compartment and hangs retired successful a temperature-controlled doghouse during games. Uga wasn't the archetypal canine mascot (shoutout to Yale's Handsome Dan) and helium is 1 of dozens of assemblage canines, but he's inactive apical dog.

Bonus: Non-Football Division

5. Fighting Okra, Delta State

It's a giant okra that wears boxing gloves warring its mode done Mississippi. What other could you want?

4. King Triton, UC-San Diego

It's a elephantine undersea king with a trident who looks similar helium mightiness interruption into opus astatine immoderate moment, oregon outcry astatine Ariel for bringing each that junk into the house. What other could you want?

3. Sammy the Slug, UC-Santa Cruz

It's a elephantine yellowish mollusk that was featured connected the T-shirt worn by John Travolta successful "Pulp Fiction." What other could you want?

2. The Gael, Saint Mary's College

It's a giant, jacked Irish warrior who looks similar a 1980s barbarian enactment hero, inspired by a nickname fixed to the schoolhouse by Grantland Rice, aka the top American sportswriter who ever lived. What other could you want?

1. Friar Dom, Providence

It's a elephantine Dominican friar with a fixed look of fearfulness and eyeballs truthful immense that it looks arsenic if helium is peering into your damned, sinful soul. What other could you want? Actually, a lot. He stared maine down during an NCAA tourney crippled a decennary agone and I haven't slept done the nighttime since.