'My sex offender ex is fighting for access to our child'

ByLyndsey Telford

BBC News NI

A woman who is fighting to stop her sex offender ex-husband having contact with their child has said the thought of it makes her "feel sick".

Lucy - not her real name - described how her "world was blown apart" when her then husband was convicted of possessing indecent images of children, including videos of children being sexually abused.

She told BBC News NI she was further "horrified" to discover he was taking her to family court for supervised access to their child.

She is now calling for a change in Northern Ireland's laws to strip people convicted of child-related sex offences of their parental responsibility.

Commissioner for victims of crime, Geraldine Hanna, said courts had discretion in individual cases but she believed they should be given "all the powers they need" to address concerns on this issue.

"When I think of my husband, who I believed him to be, compared to this person, this person's a complete stranger to me," Lucy told the BBC.

"It makes me feel sick to think that he would be even near my child. So I really do not want to put my child in a room with a stranger, supervised or not.

"As a mother all I want to do is protect my child and I'm not doing that if I'm letting [them] in a room with a stranger."

Lucy said she recognised her call for the law to change was a "huge" demand, but that it was aimed at protecting children and families.

Earlier this year, Finance Minister John O'Dowd committed to changing family law to automatically remove the parental responsibility of anyone convicted of murdering someone with whom they shared a child.

Lucy said she believed that should be extended to anyone on the sex offenders register – which includes her ex-husband.

She said it was a move she thought could also help deter people from offending.

A spokesperson for the Department of Finance confirmed O'Dowd was committed to developing legislation that would provide "stronger protections for children and families".

In England and Wales, Jade's Law automatically suspends parental responsibility for a parent convicted of murdering or committing voluntary manslaughter against a partner or ex-partner with whom they share children

It is named after Jade Ward, who was 27 when she was murdered by ex-partner Russell Marsh in 2021.

However, Jade's Law does not apply to Northern Ireland.

The spokesperson for the Department of Finance said a consultation would be launched this autumn, which would set out proposals for reform in cases involving homicide and "on whether comparable protections should be extended to other forms of serious offending".

Safeguarding expert Marcella Leonard told the BBC that when it comes to people convicted of child-related sex offences, their "right to family life" should be explored by the courts.

This should also be the case, she said, in regards to the child's right to have a relationship with that parent.

However, she said that process should be "bespoke" and based on strict criteria.

"The person must have undergone specialist risk assessment that looks at why they did what they did and the particular risk to the child," she said.

"They must also engage with therapeutic interventions which are tailored for the individualised risk that the person poses – not general programmes which are not specific to the individual. Then and only then should contact be considered to be supervised."

She added that the person doing the potential supervising must also undergo "protective assessments" that identify any education they may need to in order to properly hold the parent to account and ensure the child in question was protected.

Lucy said she had had no idea of her ex-husband's offending until police knocked on their door with a search warrant to seize his devices and arrested him.

She described feeling like an "indirect victim" of his crimes and has called for greater support for family members of sex offenders who experience their own kind of trauma.

"Whilst I can't imagine what the children in the [indecent] pictures have gone through, and there's a part of me that almost doesn't let my brain go there, what happened from the door knock completely broke our lives," she said.

"There's a before and there's an after.

"And the before is this lovely time of innocence, of believing somebody at face value, of believing that people are safe.

"Since the door knock, nobody is safe and I struggle with that.

"Our whole lives have being totally and utterly upended and still continue to be so, that whilst we're not direct victims, we're certainly indirect victims."

She said she and her child had to leave the family home and relocate to another area – to protect the child from the "horror of the truth" about their father.

Despite initial contact with social services, in which Lucy said she had to be deemed fit to parent her own child, there was no further support – particularly around the time of her ex-husband's court case.

"Why isn't there a system in place to tell family members ahead of that to prepare us or to make sure that we're safe?" she said.

"You're totally on your own. There are no organisations in Northern Ireland, there's no local support to help family members deal with this, so where do I go to next to get the help for what happens next?"

Geraldine Hanna said crimes of the type Lucy's husband was convicted of were "devastating" and "land like a bomb" in people's lives.

"This case really highlights the broader ripple impact of crime," she said.

"We don't often think about the wider impact... that it has on those who are associated with the accused in such crimes.

"So if that's your partner, your husband, the father of your children, there is real need to ensure that there's clear pathways to support for you in that case, so that you have the information and that independent support and information to help you make informed decisions and that you're supported through the journey as well."

Lucy said much of her life after her ex-husband's crimes were uncovered had been "a blur" and "horrific".

"Every now and then when something happens through court or something happens with the case, I go right back to the door knock - of the days after the door knock that were so horrific," she added.

"And I don't think we will ever be able to move fully on from that."

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article details of help and support are available through the BBC Action Line.