Widow of aid worker Simon Boas describes 'unusual' grief process

3 months ago 16
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Aurelie Boas says her husband, Simon, was 'pulling away a bit' before his death

Aurelie Boas, whose husband was recognised for his "inspirational" perspective on death, has spoken of her "surreal" final days with him.

Aid worker Simon Boas died in July, aged 46. The Jersey resident gained widespread acclaim for writing about coming to terms with his terminal throat cancer diagnosis.

Mr Boas's book, A Beginner's Guide to Dying, will be published posthumously on Thursday.

Mrs Boas has been overseeing its publication and told the BBC it was "a bit unusual to grieve this way".

"It's a great responsibility for me to have to be in charge, but it's quite wonderful to have this legacy," she told Radio 4's Today programme.

The book collects Mr Boas's writing about death, which has captured many readers for its unexpected positivity.

In his final weeks, he said he was "as happy as I've ever been in my life".

"I think he prepared me very well," Mrs Boas said. She added that he started "pulling away a bit" in what she thinks was an effort, consciously or unconsciously, to ready her for his death.

"I feel very grateful in the way we managed to discuss everything, but also have normal days," she said.

Mr Boas spent the end of his life in a Jersey hospice with his wife by his side.

The couple were surrounded by framed photographs and vases from their home, as well as cards from friends. "We took everything with us," Mrs Boas told the BBC.

She also shared that before her husband moved into the hospice, the couple took a drive around the island: "He wanted to see Jersey one last time. It was a lovely day."

Mrs Boas described her husband's final days as "both surreal and magical, as strange as it sounds".

The couple watched Wimbledon on TV together. Mr Boas would sometimes have hallucinations, leading to odd questions such as: "Is it possible I just saw a dog on the tennis court?" His wife would tell him no, "but it's wonderful that you did".

"He kept his very good sense of humour, even when he was a bit out of it," she said.

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